Conflicted
by losingsleep20
Summary: Tony and Ziva spend some quality time on a bus ride together, and begin to have a talk that's long overdue. Tiva friendship to more.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **This is a bit of a personal story to me because i got my inspiration from two of my friends. My one friend never gets how important she is as a friend, and our friendship reminds me that of Tony and Ziva's. My best guy friend inspired me because well, how the two of us act together reminds me of tiva. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** Don't own any of the characters or NCIS. (it's on my wish list)

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It had been a long day at work and it wasn't over yet. Tony DiNozzo, along with his partner, Ziva David, had been put on protection detail for a fourteen year old boy who's marine father had been kidnapped. The kid had an away game for his middle school basketball team. Tony wasn't sure if he could survive an hour-long bus ride with twelve rowdy teenage boys.

He looked across at his partner, who was staring out the window blankly. Ziva hadn't been herself since they started the assignment. Tony would get her attention, then find himself at a loss of words. The two would just stare at each other, his green eyes begging for her to open up, but she kept her wall in place.

Tony decided to try and talk to her again.

He touched her shoulder. "Ziva," he murmured.

She tore her gaze away from the scenery flying by the bus and turned to face him, her eyes filled with something DiNozzo couldn't quite place.

"Yes?" she returned, raising her eyebrows as she spoke.

"Why won't you talk to me, Zee-Vah?" Tony asked.

His partner sighed and said, "What is there to talk about?"

"I don't know, you're the one who's upset, you tell me."

Ziva glanced out the window and then looked back at her partner.

"Nothing is wrong Tony. I am fine."

Tony scoffed at her and leaned towards her slightly. "I rather doubt that Miss Dah-Veed," he said, his green eyes giving her a soft look.

"Now what's wrong?"

Ziva sighed. Ever since she'd come to NCIS, she had softened up quite a bit. Her co-workers had become her family, NCIS her home away from home. And now, she had lost the ability to be able to lie to her partner effectively, and hide her emotions.

"I am having flashbacks to L.A., Tony."

Tony's whole demeanor changed immediately. Less than a year ago, Ziva and Tony had been on protection detail for the former director of NCIS, Jenny Shepard. Jen had given the pair the day off, and pursued her own personal agenda. They'd lost her, and it cost the former director her life.

Tony looked down at his feet momentarily, then back up at Ziva, who was waiting for his response.

"We won't screw this one up, I won't mess up this time," he told her.

Ziva softened her gaze, "It wasn't your fault Tony, we were following orders."

They both went quiet for a moment, thinking about the day Jenny had been killed.

Breaking the silence, Tony spoke. "We should have been there. We could have stopped this from happening."

"You do not know that, Tony. It could have ended up being us laying in autopsy." Ziva told him quietly.

"It should have been us. It should have been me."

It was Ziva's turn to give her partner a look. "But it was not. It was Jenny."

"Yeah I know that Ziva!" Tony snapped back.

Ziva tried to keep her voice under control, they were both getting worked up. Tony put his head in his hands.

"Tony," Ziva started firmly, "we should be grateful that it was not us this time. And honestly, I do not know how I would be able to cope if I lost another person that i ca--," she stopped abruptly and became engrossed in the bus seat in front of her.

Tony straightened himself up at this pause. He knew exactly what his partner was going to say. He knew he should tell her how he was feeling, but was to afraid.

Putting on a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, DiNozzo jumped up and the bus came to a halt at the same time.

"We're here. Hoops time! I'm gonna go talk to the coach and see if I can shoot around while the guys warm up," Tony said, jogging up to the front of the bus without a backward look at his partner.

Ziva sighed and looked down at the ground. She was hurt. She knew that Tony knew how she had been intending to finish her sentence. She had hinted at her feelings and Tony avoided the subject, just walked away from her.

_He does not feel the same, _Ziva told herself, trying to regain control of her emotions.

With a sigh, Ziva stood up and followed Tony's steps off the bus, defeated.

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**A/N:** So what do you think? Good, not too bad? Please review, I need to know if I should leave it here or write about the bus ride back.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Sorry for the little wait guys! I had been meaning to add this chapter sooner but my teachers gave out a lot of homework for the weekend. Reviews are welcome! Sorry if it's a little short.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own NCIS, I just take the characters out for a bus ride now and then.

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Tony trudged through a light rain back to the yellow school bus awaiting the team. He was left to his own thoughts as the boys ran back to the bus and cheered; they had won the game. DiNozzo knew he had screwed up by running off after Ziva hinted that she cared for him more than just as a partner.

The whole game, Tony shot baskets on a separate hoop, stealing glances at his partner from time to time. She had only met his eyes once, briefly, before they both looked away uncomfortably. The rest of the time Tony could feel her occasional glances on him.

Even now, as he walked alone to the bus, he knew she was doing her best to look everywhere but him. He climbed up the steps on the bus and nodded at the driver. His eyes swept the aisle, looking for a seat when he realized that Ziva was no longer behind him. Spinning on his heel, Tony located her seat and promptly plopped down next to his partner.

She looked over at him, annoyed. "Damn, I thought I lost you back there."

DiNozzo just gave her one of his charming grins in return. Ziva rolled her eyes at him and focused on the window. This was a talk that she was not looking forward to. She had slipped up, and now she would have to pay for it. They were both silent as the bus started the ride back to school, but Ziva could feel his eyes on her.

"Is there something you want to say, Tony?" she questioned without taking her eyes away from the window.

"You don't give me enough credit, Zee-Vah," Tony stated cryptically.

Ziva finally turned to face him and gave him an inquiring look.

He took a deep breath and spoke, "You think I don't care. I do though...I care about you. Things work more than one way, you know."

His comment took Ziva by surprise, Tony hadn't made a joke about what she had said earlier. He was being honest and serious. She looked into his crystal green eyes. He was being patient, allowing her to process what he had told her.

"I should not have said anything earlier, Tony," was her response.

"That doesn't mean you didn't mean it, Ziva."

Tony didn't know if she'd be okay with it, but he took a risk and draped his arm around her shoulders. Surprising both of them, Ziva leaned into his touch and rested her head on his shoulder.

"You'll never lose me, Ziva," Tony stated softly, his forehead resting on the top of Ziva's head.

"I know," she replied with a small smile.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **Originally I was just going to leave the story off at the last chapter but I got many requests for more. Plus, I have a snow day and have nothing at all to do, so here you go! I'm pretty sure this will be the last chapter. Be sure to review!

**Disclaimer: **I wish I owned NCIS but I don't.

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Tony hopped off the bus, Ziva following behind him. They waved goodbye to the team, there were two new special agents waiting to take up the protection detail. Tony wrapped his arm around Ziva's waist, ignoring the chorus of hooting coming from the boys after his action.

"Feel up for a movie night, Miss Dah-Veed?" he asked, giving her a signature DiNozzo grin.

"Yes, but I am picking the movie," Ziva told him.

Tony laughed, "Yeah, we'll see."

They both headed for the driver's door at the same time. Ziva got her hand on the handle first but Tony kept his hand on the door so that she couldn't open it.

"Not a chance, my ninja, not even after that bus ride."

Ziva scowled at him, but decided against threatening him. She walked around to the passenger side. Tony grinned and got in.

Heading back to NCIS, the duo settled into a companionable silence.

Tony glanced over at Ziva, who had her eyes on the road ahead of them. He took in her wavy hair and his favorite dark brown eyes. He was not going to mess this up, enough damage had already been done when he went undercover and dated Jeanne. He realized that his partner had left his thoughts even on that mission.

He smiled to himself, _This is different. It's special, I'm not screwing up._

Next to him, Ziva stole similar looks at her partner, loving his perfectly styled hair and green eyes that she never got out of her head. It surprised her, she had many partners with Mossad, and had never cared about one of them like she did with Tony. The only thing that surprised her more was that she didn't care, she liked the feeling.

She smiled, _He's not just another partner...He never was._

Unknown to the other, the partners thought about each other the whole ride back to headquarters.

* * *

He watched them from the top of the stairs as they entered the squad room. Gibbs narrowed his eyes at the arm around Ziva's waist. He wanted to run down and slap them both for breaking Rule 12. Had he taught them nothing?

Yet something was holding him back. He had made the rule because of what happened with Jenny. That didn't mean it would happen with his agents. He sighed and put his head in his hands.

* * *

McGee walked into the squad room just as Tony and Ziva had finished gathering their things. Tony had his arm around Ziva's shoulders and she was leaning into him.

McGee looked at them oddly, then eyed the arm around Ziva's shoulders.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

Tony countered, "Well see Tim, I have a job, and this is where I work. So it's not uncommon to see employees at their offices."

McGee rolled his eyes and started getting his things from his own desk.

"What were you still doing here, McGoogle?"

McGee blushed a little. "I well uh, Abby asked for help on something down in the lab, and so you know, can't say no to Abby.."

Ziva gave him a knowing look at and Tony grinned slyly.

McGee quickly changed the subject, "You know, Gibbs is going to kill you guys."

Tony and Ziva looked at each other in panic. They had totally forgotten about Gibbs! Yet neither made a move to break away from each other. McGee grinned, he had the upper hand in the conversation now. He opened his mouth to speak as Gibbs appeared out of seemingly nowhere and made all three agents jump.

Tony and Ziva couldn't step apart fast enough, but Gibbs just walked over to his desk and started closing up. Tony and Ziva shared a look of relief.

"Don't worry, I saw you two," Gibbs said, not looking up from his desk. Tony shifted uncomfortably and Ziva did the same. McGee couldn't stop smiling.

Gibbs straightened up and beckoned to his more experienced agents. They stepped forward nervously, and winced at the same time as their boss's hand made contact with the back of their heads. McGee couldn't help a chuckle.

"Quiet, McGiggle," DiNozzo snapped.

Gibbs turned to face McGee. "I should probably slap you for harassing your partners."

"Allow me boss," Tony said stepping forward and slapping McGee's head, earning himself another slap from Gibbs.

A ghost of a smile appeared on Jethro's face as he turned to leave.

"Gibbs? Is that it?" Ziva questioned, fearing more consequences.

Gibbs didn't break stride and walked into the elevator as he called back, "Keep it out of my office or you both might just end up on Ducky's tables."

Tony smiled again and put his arm back around Ziva.

"Bye McGee!" they both waved in farewell, and headed for the stairs.

Tim gulped, he was sure Gibbs wouldn't cut him that sort of slack if he found out McGee was involved with his favorite forensic scientist.

_But then again, _he thought to himself, _those two are special._

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**A/N: **Alright I'm finally finished with this story. I hope you liked it! Please review!


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